Definition of an ally – (1) a person or group that provides assistance and support in an ongoing effort, activity, or struggle (2) —often now used specifically of a person who is not a member of a marginalized or mistreated group but who expresses or gives support to that group
When I lived in the small town upstate Western North Carolina, I had a challenging time going to the supermarket. The 30 minute scenic drive anywhere was breathtaking. Once I arrived at my destination, I began holding my breath. I wasn’t prepared for the celebrity status — whispers behind cupped hands to ears and giggles. I could feel the stares, yet when I turned around, eyes darted elsewhere than in my direction. When I described my experiences to my neighbor, she immediately understood. “Well, you bring color to our community!” We laughed and I cried. “I don’t know that I can continue to live like this!” Afterall, it had been 3 months and nothing changed and I didn’t think that I could become used to this. She offered to go on my shopping trips with me. “Everytime I have to go to the store?!” I declined her offer. It wasn’t necessarily pride and I was feeling indignant that people just needed to get over themselves and get used to to having aa black . What I could not name at the time was that my friend was offering me allyship. Months later when these white men started to circle around me in another store in this small town, I wished that I had taken her up on this offer. I finally moved away from this small town. What I have taken with me from my experiences is that allyship is important for me as well as those making the offer.
Thinking about your circle of influence and where you might be able to change minds and hearts is a big ask. If you’re offering, I’m accepting. We’re going to change this world, one person at a time.